circumcisions:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

oomshi:

“I’m a huge metal fan!!” I scream at the concert. My gears start to rust & I need to be oiled up. I am an actual metal fan

rapewhistled:

animals are our friends.dont mistreat them they are even more confused about existence than we are.they trust u.

rasengyakuten:

Indirectly offending a friend 

egberts:

svvitzerland:

svvitzerland:

 What is the opposite of a restaurant?

a workaurant

i hope you get arrested for this joke

yolympics:

changing from jeans to pajama pants

witchpop:

you know that girl you just called stupid?? she’s also ugly

esexist:

please dont kill me i have a blog to run

theselener:

when someone tries to argue with you on a topic you know more about